do not leave me :(

I dont know if I will lose you someday and I don't dare to know how it feels . There is always this little voice at the back of my head that says you're going to walk away , and by the time you do , I will not be prepared . And its going to hurt . Really bad . So I try to prepare myself for the worst , but I know , if or when the day comes , I will never be fully prepared . Losing you is one thing, coping with the change is another. Not seeing you for more  than five hours agitates me , imagine a lifetime . I dare not think about it . I say things I don't mean , you say things you don't mean . Thats what happens . It scares me to think that one day , I might not get to feel your heartbeat , or hold your hand , or even have you smiling at me , the way you smiled at me yesterday , the way you will smile at me today , and hopefully , tomorrow and forever .